A toast to a toasted bride

Every summer our hotel ushers in the wedding season. For many, weddings mean fancy parties, beautiful flowers, long white gowns, and vows of matrimony.

For a Night Auditor weddings mean lots of drunk people. Lots of drunk people staying up until the wee hours of the morning refusing to end the "celebration".

One such wedding party last summer took the cake when it came to the overall alcohol intake. The catering staff blamed the excessive drinking on the late arriving live band that left the guests and wedding party with nothing to do for a good portion of the reception except to "take shots". That may well have been the case but the aftermath was pretty unexcusable.

At 1 am in the morning I wander into the lobby ladies restroom after noticing 2 or 3 girls in matching dresses going in but not coming out after almost an hour. First thing I notice is the smell. Vomit has a certain "special" aroma. Then I notice 2 of the 3 handwashing sinks clogged with vomit. One of them was almost half full. Last of all I notice bare knees connected to matching fancy footwear on the floors of 2 stalls. Then the sound of retching.

At this point I promptly vacated the restroom for more friendly territory.

Around 2 am I notice the bride stumble in this same restroom. Fifteen or twenty minutes later a brideless groom is asking around about his missing mate. I kindly motion him over to the desk and inform him that his lovely bride is currently in the ladies room and might not be in the best of shape.

Unfortunately, he asks me to go in and check up on her.

I begrudgingly pull myself away from my safe zone at the front desk and brace myself for the adventure. I find the bride in the last stall with the door closed, her beautiful lace embroidered gown draping over the bathroom floor tiles.

I knock on the stall door.

No answer.

I knock again, this time with a "Ma'am, are you okay?"

No answer.

Then the sound of vomit splashing into a toilet bowl catches me off guard and I scamper out.

I kindly inform the gentleman that since there were no other gals in the restroom besides his beloved that it might be best for him to go to her aid rather than myself. He follows my instructions and about ten minutes later he walks out supporting his stumbling, vomit smelling, glassy-eyed bride as she makes her way to the elevator.

What a way to start a marriage...