The party never stops when you're open all night, part 2

Previously on my grocery store escapades, I was witness to a gentleman devouring saltine crackers. And he wasn't beating around the bush, either. He was crushing a whole box of them. We pick up our story as I continue my journey for lunch.

I cautiously made my way past the couple; first around the nondescript woman, then around the ravenous man and his box of saltines. I nearly started laughing as I rounded the corner and headed toward the sandwich case. After waving to the passing forklift operator, I started to think about what kind of sandwich I wanted. I mentally settled on an italian sub, as usual.

I was somewhat startled when I got to the area where the deli sandwiches because there was someone else there. I rarely run into anyone on that side of the store because of its location. It's toward the back corner, by the bulk foods and the deli. Every now and then, there will be someone bagging up some bulk candy, but I can count on one hand the number of times that I've actually had to wait before grabbing my food at the deli cold case.

I casually make my way to the other end of the cold case so I don't crowd the gentleman that was there ahead of me. It's one of those unwritten guy rules - don't crowd another man while in a public restroom or at the sandwich counter. Common courtesy, really. As I'm biding my time looking at the pizza and chicken, I've got the corner of my eye on the dude. I was pretty hungry and I just wanted to get my food and go.

I was surprised and disgusted when I saw the guy putting his hands on nearly all of the sandwiches in the case! Yes, they're all wrapped in plastic. I still found it pretty gross to watch this guy grab and lightly squeeze all of my potential lunch choices, however. Remember common courtesy? This guy was copping a courtesy feel on a bunch of deli sandwiches.

As I watched in the corner of my eye, I tried to make a mental note of what racks and/or sandwiches he tainted. By the time he left, I couldn't bring myself to purchase any of the sandwiches at all. My first rationalization was that I couldn't find an italian sandwich any way, so why bother. My second rationalization was that some of the pizza I was looking at earlier was just as viable an option. I really wanted a sandwich though!

Rather than get one of the cellophane-wrapped sandwiches that the guy molested, I went with one of the box lunches instead. Genious! I got a ham and cheese sandwich, chips, and cookies. Truly a bountiful feast fit for any king. But it wasn't just the quantity of food that drew my attention. It was also the bulletproof plastic clamshell that was safeguarding the food.

There's no way I was going to eat a pre-smushed sandwich wrapped in dinky plastic wrap. The plastic clamshell, however, looked safe. It's like the food was wearing a kevlar vest. I triumphantly picked out a box lunch, left the scene of the crime and quickly made my way to the cashier. Having had two phenomenal instances already happen, I didn't want to stick around and wait for the third. Only time will tell what great adventures await me next time.